It's been a while since I last celebrated Chinese New Year. I've spent my last 2 in Hong Kong.
Chinese New Year has never been my favorite festival.
Never liked the songs as I find them pretty noisy. Makes my heart and head pound.
Red was never my favorite color.
I find new year visiting quite a chore as I was made to rush from 1 relative's house to the next and more than half of them were distant relative who I hardly know (and only see them once a year, Chinese New Year's Day).
Regardless of all the things I've no liking towards. I still enjoy the fact that families and friends get to gather together, having meals, do some catching up. It's the only time where everyone can be together. However, there will always be a few who gets stuck at work, or choose to fly somewhere else.
Even with all the joyful and happy spirit spreading all over the globe (maybe at least half or a quarter), I can help but still feel a hint of emptiness in the corner of my heart and I realized that I'm not alone.
I wasn't allowed to celebrate Chinese New Year last year due to my Grandpa's passing (Chinese custom thingy). Therefore, the reason why my family decided to go for a vacation in Hong Kong. This year, we aren't allowed again due to my Grandma's passing.
My Mom cooked Popiah yesterday, and I recalled that the last time I had it was actually made by my Grandma.
Aunts mentioned that it felt weird without her around. Caught Mom in tears a few times the past few days.
It occurs to me that people seems to be leaving one by one. That didn't felt good.
But as I was going down with all my negative thinking. I recalled all the adorable little nieces and nephews I've met during my Grandma's wake and New Year's Day. Just when I was thinking that the family will just continue to get smaller, I realized that it has actually grown without me realizing.
